I drive Lisa to the hospital for a cat scan, and after, we go to Corky and Lenny's for lunch. It is here that Lisa says these instantly infamous words to Chad, our waiter: "If you try to take my plate, I will stab you with my fork." So subtle. We stop for some shopping at Anthropology (giant flower pins are in, so are ruffles, so are jodphurs) and then at the new Northface store. I drop Lisa at home, and check the time. 1:48. Can I make it to Target for Sam's khaki pants, and back to the bus stop by 3:00 to meet Jono and drive him to Solon for his 3:30 doctor's appointment? Yes. I drive fast to Target, get pants (and a few other things) throw them quickly into cart, check out, drive home, meet the bus, drop Abby at home, instruct her to get Sam off of his bus, and drive Jono to his well-visit. He is well. And aside from the moment where Jono uses the word "bi-atch" to describe someone to the doctor, the appointment goes pretty well. (Ah, fifteen. How I love you.) We walk away with 15,000 prescriptions for asthma medications, and the instructions that I need to let Jono handle his respiratory health and possibly fail. Oh, and he has a nickel allergy, which explains the rash on his belly, near where his cheap belt-buckle must be rubbing. Nickel, peanuts, morphine, opiates. Why not? The doctor tells him he can never be a drug addict, because he'll be one big, walking hive. I was kicked out of the second half of the appointment, but I think it went okay.
We stop at the grocery store for a birthday card, gum, mints, and a zucchini.
We stop at McDonald's for Jono.
I make it back to Hudson around 5:15, in time to drop off Jono, comb my hair, change my sweater, and pick up Cindy for a friend's birthday dinner. We have a drink first, get hit on by an elderly man at a bar, after which Cindy invites him to an Elder-Life event at church, and tells me that I'll be serving at that particular event. Sounds good. We leave the bar and head to the dinner at the Chinese restaurant. It's so nice, except that I get 100 phone calls and texts from Adam, whose car has broken down on the side of the highway. Two rainy hours, two tow trucks, and one police car later, it is determined that I do not have to go to the dealership; he has a ride home. Then Abby calls. Her sleepover friend has arrived, but the mom has not just dropped her off. They're waiting for me in the house. Ah. Adam was supposed to be home but he's with the tow truck. I leave the restaurant in a hurry, drive home, and find my friend Shelia seated in my family room talking to Jono, while Sam entertains her with his new magic set. Abby and Mairead, Sheila's daughter, are dressed in last year's Halloween costumes, laughing hysterically. They are preparing for. . . wait for it. . . "Leave a Zucchini on Your Neighbor's Porch Day." There is nothing to be done but to allow it to happen. I offer Shelia a glass of wine, but she declines, and leaves me to deal with the sqaush on my own.
It is 8:43. My children have not been fed, since Adam never came home. I call Donatos Pizza.
"Thank you for calling Donatos. This is Jim, pick-up or delivery?"
"Delivery," I say.
"You're on Pinebrooke?"
"Yep."
"Hang on," he says. I hear muffled sounds, questions, talking. "We don't deliver out there anymore."
I don't know what to say.
"It's a Hudson address," is what comes out of my mouth.
"Sorry about that," says Jim, whom I picture as a skinny teen-ager.
I hang up.
I call back.
"Thank you for. . "
I interrupt Jim. "Jim, I just called about a delivery on Pinebrooke."
"Oh, yeah," he says.
"Listen, I'm not going to be ordering from you, but I want to understand your delivery radius, since I live a mile and a half away from you."
"Hang on." I hear muffled conversation again. I hear something like, "do you want me to tell her that?"
He comes back and says, "Yeah, I talked to our manager and our map doesn't even go that far out."
"HOW FAR OUT?" I say. "Do you deliver to the schools? To Stow Road? To the high school? I'm closer than all of those."
"Yeah, that's weird."
That was the resolution? "Yeah, that's weird??"
I called Pizza Hut. I was told that an AWESOME delivery guy would delivery my order in 30 minutes. And that's exactly what happened.
I feel as strong need to call and talk to the manager at Donatos. But I feel even more strongly that Jim is 15 and his manager is 16.
At 9:00, I call Lisa to tell her everything. Adam on the highway, the ridiculous pizza story, Sheila beating me to my house. Lisa is tired. She listens. Then she tells me to call her in the morning, she's going to sleep.
Saturday, she calls me and asks, "Did we talk last night? I think I was asleep. Stupid Ambien."
I told her all of it again, adding in the zucchini details. It's okay. All I needed was a listener. And a pizza.
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