Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What Not To Wear, Tween Edition

  It went down like this.  A show-stopping conversation between me and. . my tween.

It started with the high black patent boots this morning.  I love her black boots.  (I own the same ones.)  I did not love them with the leggings, Dr. Seuss t-shirt, belt (albeit, mine), and miniskirt.

     "I thought we were wearing that skirt with tights," I said. (We?)
     "I hate tights."
     "I can see skin between your knees and your boots.  That's tacky."
     Eye roll.
     "Where is your sweater?"  I continue, feeling my luck literally PUSH.
     "Mom, I don't want to wear a cardigan everyday.  I'm not you."  Ouch.  Truth, and ouch.
     "Abby, it's February.  You are not wearing a t-shirt.  If you are wearing that outfit, put on a sweater.      

She did, and I let the outfit, Horton-Hears-a-Who shirt and all, go out the door.

She came in after school without the sweater.

     "Where is the sweater?"
     She looked at me.
     "Where. Is. The. Sweater."
     "In my backpack."  As if I'm the stupid one.  Here's an idea-- if you're going to lie to your mother, don't stroll back into the house without the SWEATER.
     "When did you take it off?"
     At this point, my head might pop off.
     "Don't make me say it again."
      "6th, 7th and 8th period.  After lunch."
      "So I can't trust you.  That's a real shame."
      "Mother!  Why is this such a big deal?  Is it EVER going to be about ME and what I want to WEAR?"
     Her hands were on her hips, she was glaring at me.  Again.
     "No," I told her.  "No, it's not."
     "You should see what so-and-so is. . ."
     "I. Don't. Care."
     "Can't I even say anything in defense of myself?"
     It was then that I told her to stop looking at me like I was an alien from outer space.  I told her that I did think she looked lovely (most days) and that since I bought every single thing in that closet, I obviously liked her clothes.
     "But you don't like the way I put them together."
     "Fair enough.  I don't always."
     "And every morning you find something to say."
     Fair enough.
     So we made a deal.  What Not to Wear, Tween Edition.  For the rest of this week, there are rules for both of us:

Abby's Rules:
1.  No short sleeves.
2.  No tank tops, unless used as layering pieces, and no showing too much skin.
3.  Do your hair every morning.  Ponytail, headband, barrette, whatever.  Do it.
4.  Do not wear a tank top twice in a row, then wear it to dance class, then sleep in it.
5.  Do not pull things out of the hamper to wear them.

Mom's Rules
1.  No commenting on Abby's outfits in the morning (if Abby has followed the rules.)
2.  Get Abby's laundry done today so she has lots to choose from.
3.  I will not comment on choice of footwear.

Will this make for a smoother exit strategy?  Who knows.  But it's already made for a smoother evening.
I'll let you know how the first edition goes. . .


  1. Love it! I'm taking those rules for the not so distant future! Now what about the boy rules? Could you help me out there?

  2. you know I will be coming to you for advice, don't you? The kindergartener is on the way to closet wars...I can just feel it.

  3. Lol as usual. Can so identify except with a college coed my battles are piercings and tatoos instead of tshirts and leggings!

  4. OK, no witty reparte here. Just an observation, (and daughters don't get less independent BTW), and simple questions.

    Clothes were taken out of the hamper to wear again.
    SO, how did you get a second wearing out of something? Ours use something for 3 hours, thus no longer closet/drawer worthy, and now has become our problem, called "laundry".
    Most importantly...how did the clothes get off the floor , AND INTO the hamper?

  5. You know, you wouldn't have this problem if you'd stuck with just boys!

  6. Friends! You are all cracking me up!!! Rick, I'm quite sure that I put the clothes in the hamper in the first place. . .