Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Eating Disorder Tuesday

Tuesday rolls around again, as it always does, waking me with the promise of . . . food.  As those in my close circle of friends know, it's Eating Disorder Tuesday, and I couldn't be happier.

Please know that I mean no disrespect, and I mean NONE, to anyone who has suffered a real and true eating disorder.  I have not suffered any such disorder, except for the fact that I tend, for the most part, to eat in a disorderly fashion.

But because it is January, and vacation season approaches, I am, of course, dieting.  So from Wednesday through Monday, I am being perfectly perfect with my diet (within reason.)  On Tuesdays, I wake, weigh myself, and then eat.  It's not really crazy-weird-eating, but I might enjoy some fast food on a Tuesday, or a candy bar.  Or both.  And I have a diet Coke for sure, especially since I'm trying to avoid soda during the week.  And this particular diet-season, I've lowered my calories and I've even kicked my work-outs up a notch by throwing in a hike (or two, or three) each week.  Strangely, I even hiked this morning, on Eating Disorder Tuesday.  In the history of my life, and I swear this on a box of Girl Scout Tagalongs, I have never worked out on a Tuesday, not since my very first Tuesday Weight Watcher's meeting in 1991.  This is certainly a good omen that I'm meant to turn into a Suddenly Skinny Girl this year.  Obviously.  I mean, I'm hiking.  On a Tuesday.  WTF?

I also fell twice this morning when I was hiking, which could be because I didn't actually begin my actual food intake until after I walked (okay, okay, I ate two old donut holes and a Snickerdoodle) but not REAL food, so I think that perhaps I didn't actually fall, but more fainted twice from hunger.   And, the whole trail was covered in solid ice, but since I'm normally Christy Tall and Full of Grace, I blame hunger.

I will post a picture of the bruise and bump on my left knee.  It is the size of Rhode Island.

After a hot shower (during which I swear my ass and thighs were STILL cold from the hike) I enjoyed a lovely lunch with some friends at Aladdins, a middle-eastern restaurant.  A girl can eat healthy there, which I did.  When we parted ways, I had a few errands to run-- bank, drug store, grocery.  And then I found myself wondering, what was going on with me  Chicken in a pita?  Hiking?  It's Eating Disorder Tuesday, and I'm ahead of the game.  I rock.  I'm freakin' hungry.

I finished my errands and drove directly to the McDonald's drive through.  Just for some fries.  Just a treat for the afternoon.  I have two hours until the chickens come home from school, two hours to cuddle on my couch for a marathon of my Tivo.  I have Hoarders, Idol, Intervention, and Days of our Lives.  It's snowing.  I've hiked.  I have some french fries to fulfill the mandate of Eating Disorder Tuesday.

And so, my friends, that is where this story ends.  Me, in velour pants and red flannel slippers, remote, fries and diet Coke.  Pure bliss.

Hey, don't judge me.  I don't make the Eating Disorder Tuesday rules.  Oh, wait. . .


  1. Were the two "chickens" who came home a classic Freudian slip? You are such a good writer and feel like you are living my life when I was your age. Thanks for the laughs.

  2. You did it again...a wonderful and funny story! I just love your humor! Keep them coming!